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Monday, 31 March 2014

30 Pearls of Wisdom for My Daughter

I became aware of this blog through social media, 60 Little Tips That Can Change A Girls Life. "Wow, change a life, this is going to be powerful stuff" I thought as I started reading it. And although I think it makes some good points (make your own coffee and tea, eat breakfast, take bubble baths) they certainly did not change my life.  But my real issue with this blog was that it suggested itself to be a guide on how to be a woman. And in that I found it very lacking.  As the mother of a tiny, intelligent, fierce woman-to-be (she is just two years old) I wouldn't want my daughter to see a blog like this and assume that's all there was to being a woman -boob tape, white nail polish and the life changing powers of accessories.

So I thought I would pen my own version. Still fun, like the original, but with a better grasp on the idea that women can be more than skin deep.

30 Pearls of Wisdom For My Daughter
My daughter

1. Learn to read music. Math and music are international languages.
2. Yes you can use power tools. Go on, try it. It's fun!
3. Take advantage of as many learning opportunities as you can. Learning is neither beneath you nor beyond      you.
4. Have at least one specialty you can make in the kitchen to impress a guest.  (I'm a kitchen disaster but can     make an awesome soft pretzel.)
5. A businesses deal can be made or ruined by the quality of a handshake.  Be strong and confident - in             handshakes and in business.
6. You teach people how to treat you. Own that responsibility.
7. Read the book before you see the movie.
8. Have faith. In God, in science, in people, in love. In any of those or in all of them, just have faith.
9. Stretch. Your body, your mind. It's good for you.
10. Save your money.
11. Spend some money on fun things.
12. Buy things second hand. The minute you open a new item it becomes used anyway.
13. Get the very best sheets you can afford. No one has ever regretted a great nights sleep.
14. Dress in a way that ensures I cannot see your undergarments or their straps. This is not about sexuality            its about care. Wear all the short shorts and tank tops that make you feel comfortable and happy, but             spend time on yourself planning the best undergarments (strapless bra?) for your outfit. Dressing with             care makes a statement that you care about you and others should too.
15. Entitlement is one of the least attractive character qualities.
16. Don't spit in public. It's gross- plain and simple.
17. Always have at least one house plant. If nothing else it's good for the heart to care for another living               thing.
18. Remember grammar.  It's not hard. You didn't "seen" an item on sale last week, you "saw" it.  When             using "your", first ask yourself "could I say YOU ARE and have the statement remain relevant?" If yes,           use "you're" instead.
19.  Allow love to happen.
20. Once it does, once someone is in that special place in your heart guard that place.  Let no one else into          that space.   More than any one thing that's the secret to a happy, lasting love.
21. Change your own oil, cut your own grass and make your own lunch.  Yes, you can.
22.  Don't say "I don't have time for that".  You have EXACTLY as much time every day as someone who          does "that".  Choosing to use your time differently is perfectly appropriate, but saying you don't have              time to do what someone else does suggests that how you spend your hours is some how superior. It is        not. It's simply different.
23. "This sucks" and  "That blows" are not wise uses of your words. Take a second to think about the                  suggestion being made of what is being sucked or blown.  Now you can understand why it doesn't                show you in the best light to be overheard saying that in a work place, for example.
24.  If someone comes to pick you up, have them come to the door to get you. You are worth that much              effort.
25. When hosting a dinner party, allow guests to bring something. Bread, salad or a special condiment are           great options.
26. Likewise, when arriving at a dinner party do not do so empty handed. A small hostess gift is always               appreciated and does not have to be expensive.
27. Should you get married, do not give charitable donations at guest favours. That is not true charity.                 "Thanks for all the gifts guys, as a show of thanks I gave the money I would have spent to honour you on       something else.  But thanks again for getting me all those nice things"- see what I mean? True charity is           "We are so grateful you all came out to celebrate this day with us.  We have what we need.  Instead of         gifts for us please feel free to donate to a charity.  Your small guest favours to thank you for coming are        on the table in front of you. Enjoy!" Giving away someone else's gift is not charity.
28. Give grace. Forgive yourself.  Forgive others. Forgive with a whole and ready heart. Allow yourself and       others the space to make some mistakes free of judgement or condemnation.
29. Smile.  A lot. Its costs nothing, takes no time and you cannot know what it might mean to the person you       are smiling at.
30. Be kind.  To cashiers who do their jobs perfectly (even though you don't notice when they do) and to the      ones that accidentally short change you.  To the staff  at the drive through restaurant who got your order        wrong.  To the guy on the phone when you call to complain about your wireless bill. To the waiter and          the airline stewardess and the nurse. Be kind to your teachers, and the postal workers and police officers.      Be kind to your friends.  Kindness isn't about being a doormat.   But speak gently, use words thoughtfully      and give them grace.  It's that simple.


  1. It's incredibly disappointing every day when I come on here to check your blog and you still haven't posted anything...starting to think I shouldn't bother checking it since it isn't important to you to keep your readers interested.

    1. That is an incredibly ignorant thing to write... didn't your mother ever teach you to mind your manners and if you cannot say anything nice, then keep your trap shut???? You are an incredibly rude individual! Rylan doesn't HAVE to do this... and you know what??? Maybe you should just leave the page then... I hope you receive the same awful comments if or when your own mother passes away... Because that is just mean!!!!!

  2. incredibly rude!! She's obviously a busy mom. Who taught you manners?

  3. Whether she was being rude or not, she has a point. It really is disappointing to come on here day after day expecting a post and there isn't one. Why even come check anymore, right?

    1. Dear Anonymouses!!!!

      If it is that much of an inconvenience to click on a web takes so much time from your day then either A) subscribe to the blog on G+ or B) get a blog reader such as Feedly or Bloglovin so that they post to one page when there are new blog posts.

      You have absolutely no idea what is going on in her life. She is not doing this blog as a service to you....she is doing it for herself. Rylan should NOT have to apologize to you for not posting while dealing with some pretty heavy family matters (not that that is ANY of your business BTW). You all need to get over yourselves and possibly get a life.

      Shannon (not hiding behind anonymity!)

  4. Dear and Gentle Readers,
    These comments have weighed on me for hours. I have thought of little else. Let me begin by saying that I appreciate how much you clearly look forward to new posts. I love knowing that my blog is read by people who are interested.
    That being said, these comments have wounded me. I have not forgotten you. I have not "slacked off" and I am not taking a lazy approach.
    I was absent from blogging for a few months as the passing of my mother became more and more "real" to me. I needed some time to deal with that loss. I am very sure that if you searched your heart carefully you could find forgiveness there for my stepping away given the circumstances.
    Before that I regularly posted on Mondays and Thursdays. This post was written last Monday. I did miss Thursday. Today is Monday. So, just to be clear, I have missed one post.
    I have been writing since Nov of 2011, usually twice a week. Sometimes I simply run out of ideas. Sometimes its a matter of timing- that I am not able to pull the hours needed to create a blog idea, create/complete the task, photograph/ document it and then blog about it from another task.

    As most of you readers do, I wear many hats. I am a wife, a mother, a home school instructor, a child care provider, a friend, a member of the church. I am Santa, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny and Tim our Elf on the Shelf. Sometimes I must dedicate not just time, but energy to those roles before I can allow myself the pleasure of writing.
    Because that's what it is. A true pleasure and joy.
    I have a post almost finished on a birthday gift for That Guy. I hope that you, and all my gentle readers will continue to read it and follow along with me.
    Yet at the same time, please allow me to be honest. The feeling that I somehow OWE this to the world is a stressful and displeasing feeling. I blog with a joyful heart, and will not do so with a burdened one.
    Finally, I cannot help but point out the irony of making these comments on this particular post.
    #15. Entitlement is one of the least attractive character qualities.
    #28 and #30.Give grace and Be kind. (Yes, I missed Thursdays post. But being publicly unkind may not have been the most gentle way to ask if I would have another post published soon).
    Thank you

  5. Touche Rylan! You hit several nails right on the head! How callous of anyone to comment in such a way when choosing to read your blog (or any blog for that matter!) is a privilege. I follow several blogs and some of them, whatever their reasons, only post once in a blue moon and when they do, I'm grateful for their insight and that they chose to share with me, but never EVER to I feel entitled to their articles.

    For those that choose to turn their blog into a money-making empire, I would expect a little more - because it's then become a SERVICE whereas I'm expected to click on links to generate income for them and make purchases through their affiliate links. (However, if they quit posting - and it would certainly have to be for more than a week or two!! - I would merely move on - not leave a nasty comment!) With smaller blogs such as this, I view it as simply a joy to glean wonderful ideas from a fellow momma and let someone else's gift of writing touch me.

    SHAME on whoever wrote those comments.

  6. Rylan I am so sorry for your loss and I most certainly agree your kind words in regards to "missing" one Thursday post in 3 years. Please do not feel harm on heart as you know as well as i know you are more then just the hats you mentioned. much love god bless

  7. Holyy! I am a part of a Facebook group where you always share your new blog posts, and I can't remember how many times I've thought "Wow, she writes a lot. I could never keep up with a blog like that!" Please, PLEASE don't let one person's nasty remarks make you feel anything less than what you really are - an amazing mother, blogger, person. <3